Groundhog Day

The ground hog day phenomena has started to kick in . 

We start our day heading to the orphanage with our driver 

We go inside and wait in the visiting room for them to bring him into us 

Today he was only in two layers of clothing! Just a onesie and pjs and he was sooo skinny and tiny without all the layers ! It felt so different holding him. He is much smaller then he appears in all those layers 

We sit in the same spot on the couch so that the lady who is always visiting her twins can have the other end 

He seemed better today so thank you for the prayers. We can feel them! 

We play with him 

Try and get him to sit up for a minute 

Sometimes we try something on him , like this little hat we brought today ha ha, and he is never very amused 

But he is very cute!

We each take turns holding him 

And play with him some more 

He does not know what to do with himself when he is being held, he changes positions 100 times , 

Because he is only used to laying down on his back by himself 

His body physically does not know what to do being held 

We try really hard to get smiles out of him but he still holds back and will only give us little slivers of the smiles we know he is hiding somewhere 

And then he is usually so worn out from our attention that he falls asleep for the second half of the visit. Even in this small amount of clothing today he was sweaty and out of breath by the time he falls asleep ..... Not sure if that's heart related or just that he literally hasn't done a thing for 10 months and any little exertion of energy wipes him out ? 

Then we walk him back to his groupa door, say goodbye, and we head back to the apartment 

We have a few restaurants within walking distance that we know have English menus so we rotate for lunch or dinner and somedays we walk around for awhile before heading back to the apartment for the evening to talk to the kids back home or post here. 

And I have to say the thing that gets me through these ground hog days are all the comments from everyone back home. I sometimes read them all more then once to pass the time and also to feel at home, so thank you for taking the time to leave them! It means more then you know! We love them all!!

In our lunch outing today our Groundhog Day was interrupted by crazy animal people who literally ambushed us and forced their animals on us, then took Kyra's phone out of her hands and started taking pictures , and then they wouldn't let us leave until we paid them an overpriced fee for their "service to us" 

It was quite the experience ! 

The whole time I am thinking "get these birds off my arm!!"

And then next thing I know they put the monkey on my head ! 

Oh the memories !

 So for future adoptive families here , watch out for these guys! They trap 

You! But they did break up our routine a little today ha ha ! 

Something was off today

I don't think our Little man was feeling good today and was just moaning and uncomfortable during our visit  .... Broke my heart 

To hold him and not know what was causing him discomfort or what he needed made me so sad 

He was moaning as if he was trying to tell us he was not feeling well....cutest little voice

It's weird having a baby suddenly become yours and yet you have all these things you don't know about them . You have no idea what they eat, or how often they eat? 

You have no idea when they sleep? How often they sleep? What their noises are 

signaling ? What they like to soothe them? 

But you can tell when something is off and today something was just off with our baby bear 

It's rather impossible to know if he has a temperature due to all the layers but he was sweating more then usual so he made have had a little one 

His breathing seemed so labored and struggling that I finally decided to go outside and find our driver to come in and translate to the caregiver that we were concerned 

The way he was breathing and how he sounded , if I was at home I would have taken him into a doctor but here I still don't have control of him and his needs yet , so we called it to their attention and they said they were aware and that it was still from being sick but they would check him and watch him . 

We got him to sleep and he rested with us most of the visit 

It's always hard handing him back after the visit but when he seems sick it's even harder but I am so grateful that for the first time in his life he had some one to love him and cuddle him when he wasn't feeling well.... Even if for just a few hours 

At least for a short time maybe he felt for the first time, what every child should feel when they are sick.....a little extra love from momma 

Praying he feels better tomorrow and stays strong until we can get him home to our doctors for full checkups 

are you my mommy?

Are you the mother who will gasp in shock when she sees my picture for the first time? 

The one who will know that I am hers even though she has never held me or touched me?

Are you the one who will work around the clock to fill out endless piles of paper so you can adopt me?

The one who will plow through the house finding things to sell will do fundraisers so that I can come home?

Are you the one who will rush crazily around the house washing windows and vacuuming floors so that when the social worker arrives, the house will pass inspection?

The one who will cry and weep at the thought of me over here alone ?

The one who won't be overwhelmed at my medical issues but will trust that God will help her care for me?

The one who can no longer look at other children without thinking about me and who is forever talking about me to everyone who will listen?

The one who wonders how big I am as she wanders through the stores, picking out outfits for my closet and imagining me inside those clothes?

The one who spends much of her time on her knees before the Lord praying over every single piece of paper that is needed for my adoption, that they will pass all the endless inspections required?

The one who is having her faith stretched beyond all human understanding that God will provide everything she needs to bring me home?

The one who carries my picture around in her wallet?

The one who counts down the months, weeks, days and minutes until she can come get me?

The one who yells like she has gone mad when she receives the Golden Ticket that means my paperwork gets to cross the ocean to my country?

The one who cries out for protection for the ones she is leaving behind as she boards a plane to my country?

Please?

Are you my mother?

Are you the Mommy who longs to walk into my world, my room, my life and hold me close to your heart?

Are you my mother? 

Are you the Mommy I long for every single day of my life?

I so very much want a mother.

Please are you my mother?

Yes, Noah I am your mother 

And in one week you will be mine for good  

If you only knew how hard it has been to wait for you to be ours or how we have missed you even before we met you. If you only knew how much your sisters love you and pray for you to be safe . If you only knew how many people would come together on your behalf. If you only knew how much we already love you.  

When we arrived at the orphanage today , I took Noah from the nannies arms as I always do and we sat down where we always do and he looked into each of our faces with his deep blue eyes as if taking an inventory of who was there and then he looked to where kris usually sits and we all got teary, 

It was as if he knew someone was missing . 

He kept arching his head to look over where kris usually sat at our visits . 

He knows something is different since these people started visiting him, but he has no idea that in one week his life will begin.