Sunday, March 12, 2017

Where there is great love there are always miracles

A year ago today.....
Our driver drove us up to a large building 

Hidden behind a grove of trees and surrounded by a fence on all sides

Behind those gates, was a building full of children,
children who were hidden away from the world,

in dark rooms, in dark quiet hallways,
There is a gut wrenching silence within an orphanage, a silence you never forget, a silence that changes you forever and brings you to tears long after you have left its walls.

You do not walk down the orphanage halls and hear laughter, or the joyful squeals of children,

you just hear silence....

an eery, lonely, silence.

We walked down that dark hallway eagerly anticipating the moment we had waited months for,

the moment one little boy had waited his whole life for,

Was this finally real? What would this first moment with our son be like? What would we feel? What would he look like?

The moment the nanny walked into the waiting room, carrying a tiny fragile baby in a white terry cloth pajama, my heart wanted to leap out of my chest! Through my tears and my joy I knew my heart was complete.

The minute I saw his lost sad eyes in person, I knew all the worry, the work, the money, the heartache, the doubts and what ifs, were all totally and completely worth it.

At that moment when I finally held this little boy in my arms and he melted into me as if to say
"thank you for coming for me! ".....nothing else mattered.

Because HE mattered

Suddenly this little boy filled a place in my heart I didn't know was empty.

He mattered.......and a year ago today All was finally going to be right in his world

As a friend said "So many parts of his reality before us were hard and life altering and scary"

Yet he held on

He was sick, He only weighed 10 pounds , He had been aspirating for 10 months, had constant colds and congestion affecting his lungs, he made loud sounds in part due to the sickness and in part due to the fact that for 10 months he had not had any other form of stimulation or comfort other then his own sounds and his little hand

When we got a little more time with him later that day in our second visit it was extremely apparent how He had never been held with love,

never felt the touch of love,

Being held and cuddled is something that comes naturally to babies, but was foreign to him,

A year ago when we stroked his cheek for the first time, he flinched and pulled away, not knowing the touch of love.

Now he pulls in closer when he feels your cheek close to his,

A year ago, he didn't know what a kiss was, and had no expression at all when he was kissed or when we tried to interact with him those first days.

Today not only wants to be kissed, but he blows kisses to others.

 A year ago, he could only hold his head up for a few minutes, could not sit up or use his legs at all....the only world he knew was the ceiling above him .

Today he wont sit still as he is continuing to discover the world around him and strengthen his body to take him there,

A year ago he had so much buildup of junk in his tiny ears that he couldn't even hear the world around him.

Today he feels love from the sounds of a family around him

A year ago today Noah began to feel the touch of love, a feeling that was just beginning and was now here to stay.

We may have saved him that day, but when all is said and done, I believe he will have been the one who saved us.

If you ever question whether miracles still happen, try falling in love with an orphan

There was a deep beauty in this boy that was waiting to be unlocked and I am so grateful we were chosen to get to hold the keys.

This past year we have witnessed the miracle that is love,

This day will forever be as important as any of my childrens births, because on this day Noah entered our world.

On this day we joined hearts and started a new path together,

a path full of unexpected miracles
a path that continues to change us all for the better,
through its ups and downs, the constant is love

and "Where there is great love, there are always miracles"

Happy Family Day Noah Bear!