Thursday, April 14, 2016

Today, I'm crying....

Today I'm crying ....

I'm Crying tears of peace and humility as I looked at this sweet face who had quietly dozed off for a morning nap as I got ready this morning . I had been listening to "better place " Which we call Noah's song so I was already emotional and then Looking at him sleeping soundly and safe , I had chills head to toe and started crying ....

knowing that in 24 hours he will be with his entire family for the first time ! This precious boy is saved and In 24 hours my family will be one again and my heart is beyond full imagining that moment where I can reunite with my family and where Noah will be introduced to his family and his village. 

I'm crying with a grateful heart For each of my sweet children and my dear husband who have sacrificed and all done their part to make it possible to give this little boy a family . Soon they will all get to see how very worth it it was! 

I'm Crying tears of gratitude because I am so thankful for each person who has taken care of my girls while I have been here taking care of this process . You all know who you are and I wish there were adequate words to truly thank you for what you have done to help us bring this baby home. We could not have done this without your hands and your love for our girls back home. 

I'm crying as I read the outpouring of love and support through each comment and I know I haven't had time to reply to each one like I would like to, but each one means so much and has truly helped me make it through this process . Your love and prayers have made a tremendous difference in our lives! We continually pray for each of you with thankful hearts for your part in this journey. 

I'm crying 
as I think of the countless donations and acts of service that were performed on behalf of this child of God, my son, and on behalf of our family . Thank you all so very, very much!

I'm crying because part of me will miss this country , for what it has given me, and for the blessings and experiences that came into our lives from our time here. I tried to soak it all in on our final day here. 

Kiev has been good to us 

I cried again as I made the final visit to the embassy and walked out with the visa for our boy, the final piece of his puzzle to go home ! His entrance into the United states of America is in my hands and the emotions that come with that privilege are more than I could contain leaving this building today 

I'm crying because I am going to miss the spiritual strength and the uplifting power of God that comes so abundantly and so tangibly during this process. I have felt The hand of God and his love more during the journey to save one of his choice spirits , then maybe any other time in my life and I don't want that part to end. although I know that my Heavenly Father is always there, and I know He will continue to be, it isn't the same intensity that is experienced over the course of this miraculous road . As we end this chapter and start a new one, many adjustments come with it 

And having done this once before I know that when we are home there is a big spiritual drop that comes after a journey like this, as elder holland said "it is inevitable that after heavenly moments in our lives, we, of necessity, return to earth, so to speak, where sometimes less-than-ideal circumstances again face us.....

So what do we do when the reality becomes hard and the "honeymoon" is over? 
We "keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever."

He continued with this blessing "may a loving Father in Heaven bless us tomorrow to remember how we felt today" 

I know that is true. when the hard moments come , we will remember the miracles that far outweigh the hard spells of adoption , because Adoption is beautiful ! Like "melt-into-a-puddle-of-all-the-feelings-beautiful !" 

as my cute fellow adoptive mama said "it doesn't matter....the hard spells don't matter, they just don't! Because a child who did not have a mom, dad, grandma , grandpa, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends or neighbors, now has them all!! " 

I am simultaneously crying farewell tears for an unforgettable journey as its chapter's close, while at the same time I can't stop the tears of extreme joy and excitement at the thought of what the next chapters will hold. 

Sleep little one, for tomorrow we find your happy ending.

*** Airport info again if you missed it before ****We arrive in SLC from Paris flight DL89  estimated arrival is 2:00 pm (international terminal ) and we would absolutely welcome and LOVE anyone who has been a part of this journey to come be at the finish line with us and welcome this boy home! 


  1. Safe travels. I can't wait to see pictures of your girls and husband with their new brother.

  2. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Yay!! My heart is melting and exploding with joy!!! Please keep us updated on little Noah and your family!!! Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  3. I wish I could come but I am tending Mindy's kids in Provo and two of them have to be picked up at school right around then. I am so happy you will be home with your wonderful family. Love to you all.