Lately I have been thinking a lot about the reality of what's going to be happening in our family in the next few months...
The reality is we will be adding a baby to our family and our babies are almost 4, we are finally out of the diaper phase and yet we are starting it over now. I had sold every baby item I owned (except one crib) and now we are starting over.
The reality is we don't have a car big enough to fit us all anymore
The reality is this adoption process is hard and draining , but having a 7th child, and a 3rd child with Down syndrome will also be hard. My life is going to get harder.
Before we committed and we were praying for the answer to this question of whether or not we should adopt this little boy, I think we knew long before we realized it but we were hoping that along with our answer would come proof that it would be easy,
but the reality is that's not how faith works.
Most of the time during this process I wish the paperwork and the waiting was not an issue and I could just jump on a plane and go scoop up my boy . a momma that is thousands of miles away from her boy and can't do anything about the care he is receiving while he waits is so hard.
I wanted to pack my bags and be in a plane and scoop him up that instant.
The reality is that so many children live in these circumstances and don't deserve to.
As I looked at Mia last night in the backseat of the car singing her heart out to a song on the radio, and giggling, I cried.
I cried because she was living in these very circumstances and Her reality was weeks away from being something very different .
This decision we have made to adopt again , wasn't the easy choice, and
doubts and questions arise both from within myself, as well as from others, wondering why we would do this when we already have our hands full?
Because....
The reality is there is a child who needs more.
A child who needs a reality that he deserves ,
A reality that includes more then crib walls
A reality that gives him life.
So as we walked into this office today to get our fingerprints for our USCIS approval 
I was filled with emotion to be checking off one more big step to changing baby brother's reality forever.
This is so heartbreaking. We struggle with the fact that we want to extend our hearts and home with a waiting child that is unwanted but have to jump through so many hoops and come up with outrageous amounts of money to do so. We miss her everyday. This sweet child so far away... I read all of your posts hoping to find bits of encouragement in our own adoption journey and this post just breaks my heart.
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