Are you ready?

Today is this amazing man's birthday so it seemed fitting to do a post about a little of his side of this journey.

This man of mine is as good as they come.

He handles a house full of women and does it with patience and love.

His faith is remarkable..... as he has embarked on this journey...again....and has done so with faith, and trust, not knowing for sure what is to come.

He is my hero.

He has been understanding of a mother's intuition, and even though it is not the easy road, he took my hand and we are leaping with faith together towards a new destination.

Kris was answering questions the other day with someone about our adoption .

He was asked "so you have all these daughters , how are you feeling about adding a son?"

Kris replied , 

"Yes all I have known for 13 years is pink, barbies, princesses and dress ups ha ha, so having a boy around will be a fun new thing. I have always wanted a son to have a relationship with and do father -son things together ....although having a son with special needs may be a different relationship then a typical son might be....some things might be easier and some might be harder....just different....but what I keep imagining is this.... We had a boy in our youth group a few years ago who had Down syndrome and he was literally the glue that held that group of boys together , and I get emotional as I think of his sweet relationship with his dad.... and that gives me so much hope for my relationship with this little boy." 

When asked about his feelings on getting to this decision to adopt again he said,

"To be honest it was hard, it was hard to come to grips with this idea at first , I kept thinking of all the questions like "am I ready to adopt again? Am I ready to go through all that it takes again? I mean this was one of the hardest things we ever did, Am I ready to be a father to another child? "
 

"And then it dawns on me", he said  "what child is ready to be an orphan? This little boy is certainly not ready to be an orphan.  And at the end of the day, that's what matters, giving this little boy a family , when he doesn't have one."

Kris's words echoed another adoptive father who shared this ....

When my wife came to me and asked me, "Can we adopt a little girl 
with Down Syndrome?". I didn't say anything. I just thought. 

Then she said, "... there is a little girl in another country that needs a family." I didn't say anything except.. mmmm. 

I began to go over and over in my mind how MY life would change. How would this affect ME. What if this happened what if that happened. How would this little girl integrate into our family? 

So, here is a list of questions I asked, prayed over and meditated on for several days:
- This is a huge commitment
- Will she talk, eat, walk
- What will others think of me having a child with a disability
- How will my life change with this little girl
- Will my kids accept her
- Will my kids rebel
- Will my kids be safe while I am half way across the world
- Can I afford this
- and many other thoughts

Then I had this thought.. What is this little girl thinking:
- When is my daddy going to come kiss my neck and throw me in the air?
- When is my daddy going to come help me get my eyes fixed?
- When is my daddy going to help me learn how to eat, walk, talk?
- When is my daddy going to take me out of this crib and put me on his shoulders?
- When is my daddy going to hold me close at night before he puts me to bed?
- When is my daddy going to tell me he loves me?
- When is my daddy coming to get me? Why's he taking so long? I'm ready!

A few months ago Kris and I read an article by Elder Gibson who shared a story about his sons and after going through a difficult journey together the boy said to his father “Dad, that was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, and I will never, ever do it again.” His eyes closed—then opened—and he said, “Unless my son wants me to.”

That phrase hit me hard, 
I never thought we would do this special needs adoption journey again because although rewarding as well and completely worth it,  it was one of the hardest things we have done,...."unless our son wants us to".......

Noah wasn't ready to be an orphan .....
when will my daddy pick me up out of this crib?
when will I feel the security that only a daddy's arms can provide?
when will he come for me?

Baby Noah, your daddy is coming. 

Kris got an early birthday gift last night as dear cousins came to visit and brought him to tears with their donation and sweet words of support and love, added to those of so many others the last few weeks. THANK YOU all for helping Noah find his daddy! Its the best birthday gift ever!

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